The standard advice if you want to change your life—to overcome anxiety, depression or just a rut of bad luck is “Be Grateful”. But when you’re down deep, it’s hard not to feel like it’s pulling at straws to find things to be grateful for. How many of us, when challenged to be grateful, start to dart our eyes about the room looking for ideas? I know I do, especially when I’m feeling challenged. It’s hard to find the bright side of anything much less “be positive”.   

While moods do pass and challenges will resolve, by not taking a moment to be conscious of ourselves and grateful, we deprive ourselves of the light we deserve to experience. Gratitude doesn’t have to be a grand gesture of sweeping proportions, even a small whisper can create hope.   

What I’ve only begun to realize recently is that gratitude has its greatest power when it’s expressed as a connection. That connection could be to the things that we enjoy, the people that we love, the randomness of our day. Starting with “I”m grateful for…” works great for some, but for me it tends to sound  a lot like a recitation before Thanksgiving dinner is served. When I feel gratitude, it is usually something that makes me smile, that lights me up inside, that brings out the misty-eyed, soul-moving experience. Gratitude is an expression that can be so much more than a list. 

What I have found most empowering is to use my outside voice and say “Thank you for…”. It’s such a rich and magnificent experience of language when you get used to it. I say it every time I find my keys or something important I’ve lost. I say it to the little old ladies who hold the door for me even though they don’t have to. I say it to the crows who sit on my lawn squawking at me in the morning. I’ll wave when someone lets me into their lane on the highway. I thank my dreams for moments of inspiration. And as I get back into belly-dancing again, I even say thank you to my body for sustaining a shimmy or when I finally nail a choreography.

A simple “thank you” accomplishes so much. It’s powerful because it truly is a union of all of our creative forces. Our mind thinks the thought, our soul feels the feeling, and our body gives it a voice though words or actions. By using “thank you” we connect to an audience, a receiver for our intention. And that can be uplifting for others to receive or witness. It is a gift you give to them in that moment.

But the audience we never consider is ourselves. When we hear our own voice or see our own actions expressing gratitude, that is where the real magic happens. That conscious, directed choice to express gratitude resonates with a connection of mind, body and spirit, thus positively reinforcing the original idea. The act of sharing our thought, our feeling, our words or actions outside of ourselves, we connect with so much power and beautiful intention. We forge a connection and embody, even for a moment, radiant positivity.  

By expressing “Thank you”, we acknowledge the value and dignity of the gift of that moment –whether it’s the first snow of the season or the end of a long workday, the stranger who moved aside for you to sit on the bus or a server refilling your water glass at restaurant. We connect to something outside of ourselves and have to exert effort to do so. And the more we do this, the more we consciously say “thank you” for the moments of bliss or blessing in our lives, no matter how small, the more permanent the positivity will become.

And one day, I hope that the darkness might not seem as solid, the struggles might not be as burdensome, the rewards might start dropping right in your path, the dreams might all come true. And when they do, I hope you take a moment to look yourself in the mirror and say “Thank you”.  

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Bio: Janet is a Colorado native, mother of two, mediator and compassionate attorney who loves laughter, bringing others joy, finding the miraculous in the ordinary corners of life and serving in humanity with dignity and care. She can be found at @SharpSweetBella on Twitter where she geeks out about the intersections of spirituality, sexuality, law, politics and pop culture.